Status: In a Relationship

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Changed relationship status from Single to In a Relationship with …

 Yan ang sumalubong sa akin ng muli kung buksan ang Facebook account ko sa computer. The status isn’t mine but my “first love’s”.

 In a Relationship. Napakagandang basahin. Nakakakilig damhin. Napakabigat sa akin.

 Hindi lang siguro ako sanay, o masasanay, na kahit kailan ‘di ako nagustuhan ng first love ko. Hindi lang din siguro matanggap ng utak ko at ng puso ko na kahit kailan ‘di man lang tumimo sa isip ng unang minahal ko ang damdaming pinangarap kong ialay niya sa akin.

 Masakit kasi hanggang ngayon sariwa pa rin sa utak ko ang pangarap ko noon. Na sana ako na lang ang pinili niya. Na sana ako na lang minahal niya. Na sana ako.

 Naging theme song ko dati ang pang-ambisyosang awit ni Bituin Escalante habang pinapangarap kong maging girlfriend niya. Pati na rin ang makabagbag-damdaming Art of Letting Go ni Mikylla habang pinipilit ko ang sarili kong makalimutan siya. Para nga akong timang noong mga panahong iyon kasi kailangan kong i-let go ang isang bagay na kahit kailan naman ay ‘di naging akin.

 Mahirap talaga ang masadlak ka sa isang one-sided relationship wherein ikaw at ikaw lang ang nagmamahal. Kahit anong pangangarap mong ma-reciprocate niya ang damdamin mo, wala pa ding mangyayari kasi nga, in the first place, ‘di naman siya kailanman naging interesado sa iyo.

 Pero ang mas masakit at mas mahirap tanggapin ay kapag naipahayag mo na ang damdamin mong wagas sa kanya subait sa huli ang maririnig mo lang ay hindi talaga siya kailanman nagkaroon ng pagtinging laan para sa isang minamahal para sa iyo. Sabihin mo man sa kanya at sa sariling mong “ang sabi ko mahal kita, ‘di ko naman sinabing mahalin mo din ako”, tagos pa rin sa puso, buto, at kalamnan ang sakit kasi alam mong niloloko mo lang ang sarili mo. Mararamdaman mo pa rin na gusto mong magbigti dahil sa nararamdaman mong hapdi (of course figuratively speaking lang).

 Kaya malamang itatanong mo sa sarili mo, bakit nga ba ‘di niya ako kailanman nagustuhan bilang ka-ibigan? At ang conclusion na dadapo sa utak mo ay malamang na hindi ka kagandahan, sadyang malupit si Kupido sa iyo, o ‘di kaya’y maepal lang talaga si kapalaran. Tapos magse-self pity ka. Magtatago ka sa proverbial shell, itatayo ang cliché walls sa paligid mo, at i-de-declare mong love-phobic ka na for the rest of your life. Magpipilit kang lumimot. Sa tuwing makakasalubong ka nang potential na mamahalin iisipin mong wala itong patutunguhan kasi mauulit na naman ang pangyayaring ikaw at ikaw lang ang magmamahal. Lahat ng ito dahil lang sa isang naunsiyaming unang pag-ibig.

 Sa tagal ng panahon na dinala mo ang pag-ibig sa kanya natatak na sa utak mo na siya na ang iyong greatest love; wala nang papantay, wala nang hihigit, walang sinuman ang makapapalit.

 Yeah sure, may isang papasok na magugustuhan mo kunwa. Ngunit sa huli babalik at babalik pa rin sa kanya. Kung anuman ang maramdaman mo sa bagong “pag-ibig” na darating tatatak pa din sa isip mo kung kaya mo pa rin bang magmahal nang katulad ng pagmamahal mo sa unang minahal mo ng sobra.

 Doon magsisimula ang pagdadalawang-isip sa bagong dumating at sa sarili mong gustong umibig. At mawawalan na naman ng saysay ang lahat. Lahat ng ito dahil lang sa isang naunsiyaming unang pag-ibig.

 Ngayon, ang aking naunsiyaming unang pag-ibig, Status: In Relationship.

 Napaisip ako, nag-o-over lang pala ako sa pag-asang darating ang panahon na mapapamahal ako sa kanya. While I was busy carrying a torch for him, hayun siya at malayang nagmahal. Nagmahal siya, nabigo. Nagmahal ulit, nabigo, at muling nagmahal. Ngayon, steady na sila nang girlfriend niya samantalang ako nanatiling pinangarap siya. Katangahan ng sobrang-sobra up to the point na bibirit ka ng “kasalanan ko ba kung iniibig kita ‘di ko naman sinasadya…” sa videoke.

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Soap Opera: Carlos Celdran and the Damaso Stunt

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Photo courtesy of PhilStar.com

 

I am for RH Law. I am an advocate of freedom of speech. 

But what Carlos Celdran did was way out of line. Disturbing an on-going religious service flashing “Damaso” to the mass celebrant is not only offending religious feelings but stepping into others’ right to religious freedom as well. Yes, he is expressing his freedom of speech but he violated others’ rights blatantly. There is a right place and a right time to air his thoughts. It need not be inside a place of worship where people are practicing their beliefs during a mass celebration at that. 

His incarceration is his fault alone. Not any other person’s but his alone.

This was sensationalized because the Catholic Church was involved. But let us see him do that inside a mosque, an INC church, or any other place of worship. The same will happen to him.

Yes we have a lot of rights and we must practice it. But we must also bear in mind that with this freedom we also have responsibilities and accountabilities. Our freedom ends where freedom of others begin. That is democracy.

I go for RH. I go for freedom of speech. But you can’t take away the Church in me. (AMP)

In her quest for freedom

I was never fond of international politics. I don’t dote on politics per se. For a simple Filipina like me, international politics doesn’t matter much since it doesn’t affect me as a person.

But there was one international politics matter that caught my attention: award-winning human rights activist Aung San Suu Kyi’s fight for liberation – for her country and for herself.

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Suu Kyi is the icon of democracy for the military-ruled Myanmar, formerly known as Burma. She responded to the call for a democratic country, free from the reign of the totalitarian regime, and stood with the people that called and demonstrated for democracy.

She was supposed to be the Prime Minister of Myanmar after their party’s triumph in the 1990 general elections. However, she was subsequently detained and put under house arrest by the military junta, preventing her from assuming office. For over 20 years of her fight for democracy, majority of it were spent under detention. She was even banned many times from Myanmar polls and joining her party since she was serving a prison term.

Contemplating on her unending struggle for freedom made me reflect on how the Filipinos of decade ’70 fought for our own democracy when the siege of Martial Law is upon the Philippines’ bosom and how we’ve been lucky that they were able to surpass that hurdle through the EDSA People Power.

I realized how fortunate we are for having a free country where our voices could be heard even how minuscule it were; where we have the right to choose, to be what we want to be, to do what we want to do provided that we abide by the laws and the Constitution of our country.

But lucky as we are, we tend to take this freedom, this democracy, for granted. Sometimes we think we have so little of this democracy. We search for more; more than what we have, more than what we really need. Not knowing that we are in way better situation because we have what Suu Kyi and the people of Myanmar covet; freedom from oppression.

And what better way can we express this freedom than by executing our liberty to choose our leaders. Come May 2013, our right to suffrage would then again be put into practice as the Filipino people choose new sets of leaders.

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Before the advent of the endless campaigning and before we run to the voting precincts I just want to remind all of us to take in mind how our democracy was reinstituted upon our country and what this election and our choices of leaders would mean to the betterment of our striving nation and the continued observation of our liberty.

However cliché it may sound but we really are the hope of our nation. We hold the Philippines’ future in our hands. Our moves and our choices could make or break our motherland and the democracy, the freedom, we are enjoying.

Vote someone who you think could lead us up and not rout us down. Mark the name in the ballot who you could envision helping retain and respect our liberty. Vote as what your senses, your mind, and your heart deem right and not what others think. May we choose sensibly and choose for the better.

Rape is not just India’s problem

Rape is an international concern. May the powers that be act on protecting women and men of the world.

British Asian Woman

*Trigger warning* This post contains potentially disturbing material of rape

Picture the scene. A woman in a bar. Dressed up for a night out, drinking and having fun. A group of men at the other side spot her. She leaves her drink on the table with her friend and goes to the toilet. She comes back and finishes the drink. Gradually she becomes more and more giddy, as if going under an anaesthetic.

She wakes up in hospital with sharp stabbing pains in her groin and pelvic area. Her legs and arms are covered in bruises. Her left eye is so badly swollen she can barely see out of it. She has no recollection of the night before, what happened to her or how she ended up in hospital.

It transpires that her drink had been spiked. She was taken outside and gang raped by the group of men that…

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A Never-ending Friendship

Friends are the DNA of society. They are the basic building blocks of life. If you have a couple of good ones, treasure them like gold. There’s nothing better… Your friends help you carry the big weight in life. That big burden we’ve all got called, “What the hell am I doing?”

– Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage

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I was not your typical friendly girl. Many say I look a tad bit snob; that I seem to be unapproachable at first meeting.

I say this is true. I am a type of person who doesn’t give a flying care to anyone I don’t know. I am not the first one to say “hi”, to give a smile, to say my name. I’m not fond of giving out pleasantries except maybe if badly needed. If this is the definition of a ‘snob’, then I am one.

This may have rooted from my upbringing. I grew up sheltered. I never had childhood friends since we were constantly moving when I was in grade school. I grew up alone – my parents were too busy making a living – and secluded with no real friends which I can share my girlish dreams. The only playmate I had was my little brother who was four years my junior, which I think don’t qualify as a friend since he’s my brother and he’s a boy. And maybe because of that I never developed the sense of acquaintance and friendship.

High school was a bit of an improvement because I was able to build core relationships with my barkadas but it never really blossomed into a long-term one given that when I graduated I got shipped to Cebu and lost communication with many of them – except for the only best friend I have.

But college was different. Many say in college you don’t find loads of friends because people are always on-the-go. That may be true to some but it isn’t true for me because in college I had found the friends that made me grow up as a person and made me realize that I could not live alone in my own little world.

The friends I’ve made during college are those that I happen to cherish very much. When I met them I was still a child but in a span of a few years I was able to develop entirely to a person that I ought to be; someone that I never thought I would turn out to be.

They may be brutally frank, sarcastically funny, and highly opinionated but they were also life wise, lovingly caring, and hardcore friends. They made me feel loved – unknowingly – and cared for. They made me laugh my heart out, learn new trivial matters, and understand things in a new perspective. They opened me as a person. To sum it up, they made me mature. And that is thanks to their amity.

Having friends – real friends – is the greatest gift one can ever have. It was the greatest gift I have.

Friends are there when your family can’t. They can be your mother, father, sister, brother. They can be more than that, too. They are the first ones you run to and borrow some when you run out of cash. They share to you whatever they have, whenever they can. They’ll make you laugh with their bottomless jokes. They could also make you think like you are losing your mind. They’re a shoulder to cry on when you are hurt. At times, they’ll scold you when they think you are going out of bounds. But still, they are almost on your side of things.

Your family might be the foundation but friends are the pillars that could make you build up your life in the right direction. They help in cultivating your life and assist you in making the best out of it.

That is what my friends are to me. They light up my path, make me look for the bright things in life, and teach me to face everything that comes my way – either positive or negative – and learn from it. They are the pillars that help me stand and build my life as a mature person.

Check me out on Twitter (@october1486) and Facebook (Ana Lu)

The Year-Ender for MP

To all Manny Pacquiao fans out there — including yours truly — here’s my take on MP’s second loss of the year. It’s a bit late but I reserved my say for the year’s end.

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I am happy with the last MP and MM fight. It’s not because Marquez knocked out Pacquiao but rather because Pacquiao was very graceful in defeat.He was not the same as he was before when he gets defeated. Before, Pacquiao always finds excuses – his shoes, his mitts, the blood work he underwent – never accepting that he lost. Now, he accepted his lapses and conceded without a bat of an eyelash. He is now a sports gentleman.

Many people said, especially our fellowmen, said he should have retired when he snagged the belt of his 8th weight division fight and bagged the record of the only boxer who championed in 8 weight divisions.

But who retires while he is on his prime; on his glory days? Not Ali nor dela Hoya nor other greats names in boxing! Only people who’re not in their right minds would say such.

MP is the first and only boxer who cruised through 8 weight divisions and championed it. He was featured in many reads like TIME, Readers’ Digest, PEOPLE, among others. He is one of the most influential personality in the world of sports. And he is among the highest paid to boot!

In boxing, no one ever stayed on top. A fighter wins and gets defeated, it’s the natural order. People must not judge a fighter for a single or a few defeats. People must look at a fighter’s flight – his defeats but most importantly his successes – throughout his boxing career. And we could not deny that MP brought and marked pride in every Filipino.

Whether MP retires after this or not, is his choice. And if he retires he will RETIRE WITH UTMOST DIGNITY. There are only a handful of sportsman who made a mark not only with his countrymen but to the entire world. But I just wish and pray that this would be the last sequel of their never-ending rivalry.